Episode II - EQ and the importance of 1-on-1s

With

Gary Vaynerchuk

Many of you will be familiar with Gary Vaynerchuk. Gary is an all around hustler: he’s a successful entrepreneur and motivational speaker. He’s always on the move - that’s also where our CEO, Dennis, caught him for a chat - while he was travelling between meetings.

The two talked about the importance of emotional intelligence, about embracing mistakes and the importance of 1-on-1s. Here are some of the highlights of the talk, for the whole conversation check out the podcast above.

On teaching EQ

- Is EQ teachable?

"Here’s what I think is teachable… I think that most people that are not nice to other people are broken inside and are unhappy inside. And I think through, you know, real psychological work, therapy, real self evaluation, really hitting rock bottom, some shock to the system - like taking a year vacation or getting a divorce or having a conversation with their father about that thing that happened when they were 11 - I mean there’s a million things that I think can unlock a drain. 

I think they’re the hardest thing to do and I don’t take it lightly, I’ve not been able to do it so easily, I don’t think it’s easy but I think it’s achievable. I think it takes a huge amount of self-reflection, acceptance and humility from the part of the person that’s doing the actions. And it takes a complete reset from a hard wiring standpoint. And so I would say yes, but 99% of the people I don’t think will pull it off. And I mean that by the way, it’s very hard."

On mistakes

"I make mistakes all the time, I love my mistakes. I kiss my mistakes, I make love to my mistakes. I love my mistakes. And everybody is so scared of their mistakes. I’m like a teenage girl… I like the bad boy. I like my mistakes more than my victories."

On focus

"The problem is that everybody is trying to map the behaviour of the 3 trillion dollar kids and they’ll fail and we need to take that off the pedestal. We need to to start putting the pedestal and putting the people there who are driving practicality and reality because as I’m talking to you I have enormous fear that what happens when the economy gets softer. Because it’s been good for nine years and that’s why everybody is floating around and pretending the part of the founder. Those people will be working at Bank of America and Toyota in 5 minutes. So they need to get practical real fast."

On 1-on-1s

"1-on-1s are the foundation of our business. Like in reviews and even 1-on-1 reviews you’re at the mercy of the person sitting on the other side of the wood. And truth is, most people are not good at it. And most people come up and make up things for a million different reasons. You know, what he wants today, is gonna be different in 7 years. So it’s not only 1-on-1, it’s 1-on-1 within a moment."

On the right incentive

"The problem is, most managers are not incentivised to give a fuck this much. The only reason I have 50 to 75 people that care that much is because I care about them that much and they know it, and thus they’re holding on to it with dear life. But that stems from the top."

On thinking long term

"Because the majority of people care about the money and they don’t see, they look at short term money instead of long term money. They don’t see the costs of turnover, they see the short term cost. And so most people are short term players. It’s very easy to build a 5 to 15 million dollar business that never gave a shit about anybody. So that’s what most people want. I mean that’s the 99.999%. Like, a funny thing happens when you care about the right thing it helps you financially - go figure…"

On being alone

"85% of my company is still very cynical of me. I mean I’m very empathetic, nobody can eat more shit than me and I get to withstand the times. It’s the loneliest thing of all time. But I’m okay with it. I’m the craziest OK with it of all time."

In this podcast

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